And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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