i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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