I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
