Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
