***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
