I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
