Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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