I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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