i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
