It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
