There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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