you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
