I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Terrible idea I love it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
