video games are the ultimate cock blocker
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
