He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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