you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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