i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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