Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
