I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
