If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
