Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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