You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
