I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
