I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
