The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have aggressive nipples.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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