thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
