I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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