haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
