if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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