I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
