Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
