yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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