i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
