A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
