There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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