I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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