Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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