Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
