What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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