capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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