I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
