it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
