Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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