Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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