so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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