There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
