Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
