I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
