i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
