Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
