We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
