this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
