I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
